Thinking hard..

I've been thinking about things a lot..look out!

It all started with Sammy Sosa's new found paleness. I was ready to ridicule him but then I thought about it. Pale people use self-tanning creams or tanning beds, curly haired people want straight hair and use flat irons, straight haired people want curly hair and get perms or use curling irons, flat chested women get implants, wrinkly people get botox...it could go on and on.. but you get my drift.

Everyone has a different idea of what would make them more aesthetically pleasing. Some people obsess about it. Some people only half obsess about it. Some people are worried about how they look because they are worried about how others may perceive them. Some people are worried about how they appear to themselves. It's a strange phenomenon, isn't it? The whole exterior business?

Is it really just a means to ignore who we are on the inside? I realize I am rambling but I'll give an example to try and explain my thought process:

This past summer, I was at a friends house for a barbecue and pool party. A pool party entails bathing suits - which is scary for most. I was already in the pool in my tankini (that underneath fluorescent lights seemed to exaggerate my good points and creatively enhance my low points). Then my husband's friend showed up with his wife. The wife (we'll call her Ann for discretionary purposes) was a LARGE woman. An obese woman, to be frank. My first thought was- and yes, I know I'm an asshole , was *there is no way this chic is going to put on a bathing suit and get in the pool.* Then to my suprise - Ann asked where the bathroom was and came out sporting a bikini..no regrets, no apologies..just HERE I AM, BITCHES. Wow. I realized then that my idea of courage and security had been compromised. She got in the pool and we started talking about music, movies, political views and she was the coolest chic, ever. This just brought it home - how shallow I am at times. Completely shallow - when I least expect it.

I guess my point is that if we're totally cool and awesome on the inside - it doesn't matter as much about how we look on the outside.

I'm still going to be a fashion whore. I'm still going to adore the exterior. I love clothes, bags and shoes. It's just who I am. The only difference is that I'm just a bit more aware that I should invest as much time on the inside as I do the outside..

p.s. - this new found insight doesn't mean I'm not gong to make fun of douchebags..

Seriously.

I was driving my kids home from school today and went past a daycare sign that proudly announced the teacher of the month as being "Mrs. Stoner-Lipps". I did a quick double take and actually drove back past it to make sure I had read it correctly. Yep. Mrs. Stoner-Lipps was the teacher of the month for "Adventure Land Daycare". Of course that made me wonder - What exactly is the nature of the adventures that go on at Adventure Land Daycare and how late are they open? I wanted to get a picture of the sign but didn't want to have to explain to my kids why the sign was so funny. I did put a call in to my husband alerting him to check it out on his way home.

In other funny news, did anyone else see that supposedly Alex Rodriquez has murals of himself as a centaur (half horse/half man for the non-mythology peeps) up in his home? I knew there had to be more than a few reasons he was on my "Douchebag of the Week" listing last week. Go Phillies!

Oh and in other sports related, douchebag news - Tom Cable. It's apparently not demeaning enough to be the head coach of the Oakland Raiders - you also must beat the shit out of an assistant coach and a few women to be given full, douchebaggery honors. His statement regarding the alleged, wife abuse was laughable. He claims that he DID hit his ex-wife but only because he found out she had cheated on him. Oh - and he only slapped her - he didn't HIT her. Well, fuck Tom - why didn't you just say so? Everyone agrees that's it's okay to slap your wife around if she is allegedly committing adultery. What a joke.

Well, enough of making fun of other people. Am I the only shallow, reality television watching idiot that has followed "Tool Academy" on MTV? I probably am and I'm ashamed of myself (curse you, dvr). The whole premise revolves around ladies that have "tool" boyfriends and have submitted them to the show to get them past their "tool like" behavior. The one "tool" that graduates the show - wins $100,000. Well, they kicked off one of the remaining three "tools" and my God, did he deserve it. Stew, aptly nicknamed "Hillbilly Tool" - was finally eliminated. He once told his castmates that if he won the $100,000, he would not get a job and move out of his gf's parents house - oh no. He would invest in trailers and I quote - " You can buy a brand new trailer for $5,000 so I could like, buy a bunch of trailers and live off the rent for the rest of my life"..Dare to dream, Stew. Dare to dream. And shame on me for watching, lol.