Thinking hard..

I've been thinking about things a lot..look out!

It all started with Sammy Sosa's new found paleness. I was ready to ridicule him but then I thought about it. Pale people use self-tanning creams or tanning beds, curly haired people want straight hair and use flat irons, straight haired people want curly hair and get perms or use curling irons, flat chested women get implants, wrinkly people get botox...it could go on and on.. but you get my drift.

Everyone has a different idea of what would make them more aesthetically pleasing. Some people obsess about it. Some people only half obsess about it. Some people are worried about how they look because they are worried about how others may perceive them. Some people are worried about how they appear to themselves. It's a strange phenomenon, isn't it? The whole exterior business?

Is it really just a means to ignore who we are on the inside? I realize I am rambling but I'll give an example to try and explain my thought process:

This past summer, I was at a friends house for a barbecue and pool party. A pool party entails bathing suits - which is scary for most. I was already in the pool in my tankini (that underneath fluorescent lights seemed to exaggerate my good points and creatively enhance my low points). Then my husband's friend showed up with his wife. The wife (we'll call her Ann for discretionary purposes) was a LARGE woman. An obese woman, to be frank. My first thought was- and yes, I know I'm an asshole , was *there is no way this chic is going to put on a bathing suit and get in the pool.* Then to my suprise - Ann asked where the bathroom was and came out sporting a bikini..no regrets, no apologies..just HERE I AM, BITCHES. Wow. I realized then that my idea of courage and security had been compromised. She got in the pool and we started talking about music, movies, political views and she was the coolest chic, ever. This just brought it home - how shallow I am at times. Completely shallow - when I least expect it.

I guess my point is that if we're totally cool and awesome on the inside - it doesn't matter as much about how we look on the outside.

I'm still going to be a fashion whore. I'm still going to adore the exterior. I love clothes, bags and shoes. It's just who I am. The only difference is that I'm just a bit more aware that I should invest as much time on the inside as I do the outside..

p.s. - this new found insight doesn't mean I'm not gong to make fun of douchebags..