I am not 5 years old..

Leave it to me to find a Kindergarten teacher annoying. It's universally known that Kindergarten teachers are the sweetest, most patient people on the planet. I could argue that those qualities are what I find annoying but in fact, it's much more direct.

My son's Kindergarten teacher talks to me as if I'm 5 years old. It's odd and irritating. It's reminiscent of the way one speaks to a really cute, little frou frou dog - the kind that wear bows and sport painted nails. "Oh Peaches, you're such a cute little fluff bag aren't you, yesss you are, yess you are".. You get the drift, right?

It also doesn't help that when I need to meet with her for whatever reason, I am forced to sit in a fricken mini chair. I am not a large woman. I am about 5' 6" and weigh 125 pounds (okay closer to 135 - doughnuts and beer make dieting impossible) but when I have to sit in chairs that are 6 inches off the ground and one butt cheek wide - well, it just makes me feel like Kirstie Alley and I don't like feeling that way. I mean, hey - the schools can afford mini-laptops for each Kindergarten student but can't afford a few adult sized chairs for conferences and such? It's demeaning and odd.

Anyway - all this got me wondering how said Kindergarten teacher interacts with her husband at home. If he doesn't take out the trash does he have to sit on a bean bag in "time out zone" while she patiently talks to him about the virtues of "staying on task"? When he tries to get lucky at night night time does she sweetly tell him to "respect her space and keep his hands to himself'"?

What exactly goes on with Kindergarten teachers after they leave a day filled with 5 year olds and enter the adult realm?

Hmph.